It was a windy day in Virginia. I had decided to cut grass, so I donned my white cap and headed out the door. Abby was asleep in her bouncy seat, and Chip, who was enjoying a day off, was relaxing by the TV.
The darn wind sticks in my mind - it had blown my cap off so many times I decided to forgo wearing it, and the "For Sale" sign out by the curb sprouted wings, forcing me to chase it down Cedarmeade.
The side yard was next, and about halfway through cutting it, Chip ran out and said he needed to go back to the hospital, something about a mass casualty situation.
"It's on the news," he said. "There's a shooter on the loose at Virginia Tech."
My heart sank, and the care of how the lawn looked quickly faded as I ran inside to watch the media coverage. There on all the news stations was my school - the school I had so fondly called home for the past year and a half.
I wanted desperately to call my friends to make sure they were OK. Instead, my friends were calling me. They wanted to make sure I wasn't at school.
I wasn't. I was out on maternity leave.
As the facts of the deadly day unfolded, I discovered that two of my public speaking students were shot; both survived, thankfully. Most dreadfully, perhaps, was the news that came a few days later.
It turns out that the shooter had actually been in one of the classes I assisted. No doubt at some point I had come face to face with him.
As is usually the case when traumatic events happen, I couldn't help asking why. Why did he choose April 16, 2007, as the day to carry out the unthinkable? Why did he choose that building? Why did he do it?
For a long time I had trouble with the shooting, even though I wasn't physically there during the chaos. I remember even just a few years ago, here in a classroom in Buffalo, when I heard some young women screaming, and for a moment I froze in sheer panic. The women were only horse playing.
Even in movie theaters or malls or restaurants I sometimes think how easy it would be for a shooter to go on a rampage.
So this morning at five, when I heard the story about a fellow who carried out yet another senseless act, the pain of the Virginia Tech shootings surfaced again. And my heart ached for the parents of those kids who chose to see a movie that night the same way it ached for the parents of the students who were killed.
As I prepare to send my oldest to Kindergarten, I am terrified of my child being out in the world, completely out of my control, yet I quickly realize - and am comforted - by the peace of knowing God is in control.
That's just it - God is in control. Even in times of suffering, God is in control. And the kicker is that God doesn't allow anything to happen that won't bring Him glory; He uses days like this to draw us closer to Him.
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."
2 Corinthians 12:9
No comments:
Post a Comment